By: A Human Who Is Still in Control
Once upon a time….. if you had a question, you went to the library, flipped through books, or spent an hour down a Google rabbit hole. Now? You type a sentence into ChatGPT, and voila — out comes a polished answer wrapped in digital confidence.
Yes, ChatGPT is helpful. No one’s denying that. It can explain quantum physics like it’s a bedtime story, write your cover letter with a confidence you didn’t know you had, and even teach you how to flirt. But while we are busy outsourcing our thinking, writing, and possibly dating, let’s take a moment to address the elephant in the algorithm: ChatGPT may be turning us into brilliant, lazy geniuses with bad judgment.
As a relationship therapist I have supported hundreds of clients creating healthier patterns and recognising red flags, and it is equally vital that we acknowledge the pro and cons of the relationship we form with AI.
The undeniable Upside of ChatGPT: Why We Love It
- It makes us look good.
Emails sound more professional, letters are creative, and meeting summaries appear as if we were paying attention. - It unblocks us.
Feeling stuck? Gone by simply typing in some prompts based on your interest and it generates a variety of inspirations.
Need a recipe that’s low carb, protein-rich, low-histamine, and helps increase mental focus with minimal prep time? Done. - It feels like a personal tutor.
It’s like having an expert at speed dial who never sleeps, never judges your procrastination, and always replies encouraging in split seconds.
The Red Flag Downside: Where It Trips Us Up
Red Flag #1: Inflated Confidence
A client comes to therapy: “I feel great lately. I have been giving people advice online and everyone thinks I am kind of a thought leader. I am finally who I always knew I could be”. It turns out most this genius is produced by ChatGPT and it can make us feel way smarter than we are, until we realise when we get questioned that we only know surface level at best. Or even worse we blindly trusted some of the fabricated answers as facts, and unless you enjoy being publicly corrected, always double check the work of ChatGPT.
Red Flag #2: Mental Muscle Loss
Remember when we had to compare sources, weigh evidence, and double-check facts? Now it’s tempting to let one chatbot do the heavy lifting. But just like skipping leg day at the gym, skipping critical thinking weakens important muscles. This is how a generation forgets how to compare sources and weakens their ability to think critically over time. Yet this is exactly what is necessary for making informed decisions that serve us, for example questioning the type of relationship we are in. Is it a safe, healthy relationship or a toxic relationship.
Red Flag #3: Emotional Dependence
Some people talk to ChatGPT like it’s their therapist, coach, or best friend. Sweet… but risky. ChatGPT doesn’t actually care about you. It may find comforting words, and for someone who feels lonely, anxious or misunderstood, and the instant response can be soothing, but it won’t notice your body language, when you’re crying or when you really just need a hug. It is an illusion of a relationship and the deeper need for real human connection remains unmet.
Red Flag #4: Risk of Isolation
Again, ChatGPT is reliable, immediate and non-judgmental, yet the more we interact with it instead of with real people, the more disappointing real interaction can seem. We humans are messy, slow to respond, unpredictable and sometimes annoying. For vulnerable users this reinforces social anxiety and causes even more social withdrawal. Yet real satisfying comfort cannot come from something that cannot love us back.
Flag #5: Losing Your Voice
If you let ChatGPT write everything – emails, messages, or even deeply personal words like wedding vows – we risk losing touch with our authentic voice. The truth is most of us know when we receive a birthday message written by AI, our brains and hearts are wired to notice those small nuances, the quirks, the imperfections, the humanity that make a message feel alive, real and personal. It’s your voice, not an algorithm’s that builds trust, intimacy, and connection.
The Therapist’s Take
Think of ChatGPT like a powerful kitchen appliance. It can whip up brilliance or puree your brain if you never use your own.
My professional suggestion? Use it, but don’t fuse with it. Let it be your assistant, not your replacement. Double-check what it tells you, give yourself permission to make mistakes, and hold on to the joy of crafting your own imperfect sentences.
Remember, wisdom isn’t downloaded, it is lived, experienced and learned. Preferably with a few typos along the way. Enjoy the convenience, but most importantly don’t fear making mistakes as a perfectly imperfect human being.
(Writer’s Note: I asked ChatGPT to fact-check this piece. It got 9 out of 10. Not bad. ChatGPT praised it as “an original work, not taken from elsewhere — and frankly, it’s well-written: witty, insightful, and grounded in therapeutic wisdom while still playful. Minor grammatical slips slightly pull down the score”. I can live with that, Thank you ChatGPT!)